Football In Bed

[Painkillers]

An old married couple had no sooner hit the pillows than the old man passes gas and says, "Seven points."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" Theold man replied, "It's fart football."
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."
After about five minutes, the old man lets another one go and says,"Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7."
Not to be out done, the wife rips out another one and says,"Touchdown, tie score."
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says,"Field goal, I lead 17 to 14." Now the pressure is on the old man.
He refuses to be beaten by a woman, so he strains very hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, "What in the hell was that?"
The old man says,”Half time, switch sides."