[Fonzi]

Breaking Rocks

Most of the time, rocks on your table are no fun. For the uninitiated, a rock is a player who is highly conservative, only playing the very best hands. Their goal is often to break even, or grind out a small amount of cash. Picture pensioners, uptight businessmen, and bored mathematicians sitting at a table for hours on end, trying to beat the rake. They can really kill the action of players who are somewhat aware of how tight they are.

What you have to remember is, these rocks hate pressure. They tend to crumble rather than turn into diamonds. There are two secrets that you can use to really turn up the heat on these dour folks, both of which are meant to frustrate and annoy them into possibly dumping money into your lap and hopefully leaving your table.

Now, some might find this rather... rude. But poker is a money game. You do what you have to do, within the rules, to make money. If people at the table are preventing you from making money, you need to take care of this issue. You can find a better table (but there are often very few optimal tables within your playable bankroll), or you can eliminate the problem players if the opportunity presents itself. Don't think of this as cruelty, think of it as good money management.

The first tip to breaking a rock is simple: Play quality speculative hands against them, and force them to overplay their overpair when you do hit a flop hard. You can do this in many ways, but my favourite rock busting betting pattern is this: You check, rock bets, you make a crying calls. On the turn, you check, they raise, you MINIMUM re-raise. You're risking them hitting a set of course, possibly an over-flush. But in general this move drives a rock nuts. I've seen them go right into the tank at this move. Why? One assumes that if you're getting minimum re-raised, you're beat or being played. Rocks often have a defeatist attitude, and assume they're beat. But they have to call right, it's a minimum bet!

Now, I've seen a rock go into the tank for a good long time when check raised. Give them the shortest reasonable amount of time, then call the clock on them. Make sure that you don't jump the gun on this, but make it clear that you won't tolerate slow play. Rocks like friendly games. They generally like to take their time. Getting the clock called on you can be frustrating, but triply so for rocks. Now you've put all the pressure on them: They're playing a losing hand, you're making them look like a fool, and you've added time pressure to the mix. A couple of incidents like this, and most rocks will leave the table for more friendly waters, leaving you with your chosen table, without the action killers.

Remember to stay within the rules. No verbal abuse, no baiting them with rude gestures or distractions. But don't chat with them, don't rise to any bait they throw your way. In fact, ignore them unless it's related to the action of the game. Remove any possible emotional crutches that the rock might use on you. Young or old, drunk or sober, rich or poor: You don't care. This is a player at the table, nothing more.

Pressure, frustration, and the clock should result in an acceptable solution to the problem of a rock at your table. But remember, if you're still making money, and if you happen not to get into the same hands with the rock, they aren't really an issue are they? In cases where the table's action isn't being killed to your detriment, it's easier to take a live and let live attitude towards the rock.

Bill Ricardi ? Internet Gaming Guru